Malicious Mother Syndrome

With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, has shown a pattern of abnormal behavior that has received little attention. The present study describes the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce. Specific nosologic criteria are given with abundant clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the disorder, it is necessary to deepen the problems of classification, etiology, treatment and prevention.IntroductionA divorced man gains custody of his children and ex-wife burns down his house. A woman who was at war with her husband for custody, the children buy a cat despite being aware that her husband is allergic to cats. A mother forces her children to sleep in the car to “prove” that their father has bankrupted them. These actions illustrate a pattern of abnormal behavior that has occurred more frequently with increasing number of divorces of parents with children.Today half of all marriages end in divorce (Beal and Hochman, 1991). The number of children involved in divorce has grown dramatically (eg. Hetherington and Arastah, 1988). Most of these cases are “settled” from a legal standpoint, but the battle continues outside the courthouse.The media has spent considerable effort to increase public awareness on the problem of divorced fathers who do not provide support payments set by the court. Hodges (1991) noted that three years after divorce, only 20% of divorced fathers provide child support payments. Research on the worsening economic conditions of women (see eg. Hernandez, 1988; Laosa, 1988) has contributed to recent legislation to address the problem of deadbeat dads.While the media correctly portray the difficulties imposed upon women and children by the phenomenon of deadbeat dads, have yet to capture the warfare waged by a group of mothers against fathers who regularly pay the check and follow the law. Everyday, attorneys and therapists tell horror stories like that are lodged against innocent fathers and perverse behavior. Unfortunately there are no scientific data on the subject. The clinical literature has ignored the problem.A noted exception can be found in the writings of Gardner (1987.1989) which has provided excellent descriptions of the Parental Alienation Syndrome, which manifests itself with a series of maneuvers carried out successfully by the custodial parent to alienate the child from the non-residential parent. After being subjected to an effective, the child is “preoccupied with deprecation and criticism denigrates one parent that is unjustified and / or exaggerated” (Gardner, 1989 page 226). In the typical case of Parental Alienation Syndrome, both mother and child engage in a series of abnormal actions against the father. Gardner considers the concept of “brainwashing” is too limited (Gardner, 1989) to capture the psychological manipulation that the child experiences when he goes against the hostility of the non-resident parent.While Gardner’s pioneering descriptions of the Parental Alienation Syndrome provide an important contribution to our understanding of hostility present in cases of divorce involving children, this study involves a more global abnormality. As noted in the examples given at the beginning of this work, in the course of divorce cases occur towards their husbands severe attacks that go beyond merely manipulating the children. Furthermore, these actions include a willingness by some mothers to violate societal law. Finally, there are mothers who persistently engage in malicious behaviors in order to alienate children from their father even if they fail to reach their goal. In sum, these cases do not meet the criteria for PAS, however, indicate a serious abnormality.The purpose of this study is to define and illustrate this more general fault with the hope of provoking a more thorough scientific and clinical investigation of the problem.DefinitionThis section provides an initial definition of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce that has been derived from clinical and legal cases. As in all initial proposals, it is hoped that future research will lead to greater refinement in the taxonomic criteria. The proposed definition encompasses four major criteria, as follows:A mother who unjustifiably punishes her husband from divorcing or divorced:a. Attempting to alienate children from their fatherb. Involving others in malicious actions against the fatherc. taking excessive litigationThe mother specifically attempts to prevent:a. regular visits to the father of the childrenb. the free phone conversations between the children and the fatherc. the participation of the father to school life and activitiesExtracurricular childrenThe pattern is pervasive and includes malicious acts towards:a. lying to childrenb. Lying to othersc. violations of the lawThe disorder is not specifically due to another mental disorder, but may coexist with another mental disorder clinics distinto.IllustrazioniIn this section will give clinical examples of each point using the reference numerals used above.Because the patterns of behavior from 1 to 3 are specific to the Malicious Mother Syndrome, I will provide a series of clinical examples. The fourth point concerns the relationship of the proposed syndrome to other mental disorders will be discussed in more general terms.Criterion 1A: Alienating the ChildrenThe range of actions taken by mothers for groped to alienate children from their father is impressive. For example:One mother lied to her children that she could no longer buy food because their father had spent all their money on women in “topless bar”.The wife of a doctor forced the 10 year old son to apply for free school lunches to make them believe that their father had made us poor.For a woman who for years was very close to the children in the legal battle for custody of the mother asked to give up neutrality and take sides on his side for “dancing on his grave.” When the friend refused, the mother told the children, falsely, that the woman had a relationship with their father.These behaviors, if successful, could lead a child to not only hate the father, but perhaps not to see him for years. As Cartwright noted: “The goal of the alienator is crystalline: to deprive the lost parent, not just the time to spend with his son, but also of his childhood.”Model 1b: Involving others in malicious actsThe second component of the first pattern of behavior with which the mother attempts to punish the husband, involves manipulating other individuals to engage in malicious acts against the father. Examples of this kind are as follows:During the legal battle for custody, a mother lied to a therapist about the father’s behavior. The therapist, who had never spoken with her father, testified before the court as an expert expressed the opinion that the mother should be the primary residential parent and that the father had to undergo therapy.A mother in a rage has manipulated teenagers to leave anonymous threatening notes at the house of the ex-husband.A mother who had lost legal custody of her children, manipulated a secretary at the child’s school to assist in kidnapping the child.In such situations it is important to note that the person manipulated by the mother was somehow involved in the mother’s anger and “alienated” by the husband of this divorcing. The individual “duped” takes on a typical attitude of righteous indignation, contributing to a rewarding climate for the mother who is preparing to take malicious action.Model 1c: Excessive LitigationIt ‘s no doubt that both parties in divorce proceedings or custody have the right to present claims or take legal action. However, some women who suffer the Malicious Mother Syndrome in divorce cases, attempt to punish her husband with an excess of legal action.A belligerent and unreasonable mother verbally attacked her husband whenever she saw him. Over time, his response was to ignore it. Then she took her ex-husband in the court to compel him to speak.One mother told a judge that her daughter was the daughter of her husband.One woman refused to give up the continuing legal action against ex-husband, despite numerous attorneys had dropped the case voluntarily or were fired. In three years there were seven different attorneys.There are data that can help determine the range of excessive litigation. For example Koel and others (1988) report on the frequency of processes in a sample of 700 families. Their data indicate that only 12.7% of families file one petition to the court after the divorce, while less than 5% have 2 or more instances, less than 1% have 4 or more instances.Model 2a: Denying Regular VisitationExperts are in relative agreement that regular and uninterrupted visitation to non-residential parent is desirable and beneficial for children, except in extreme circumstances (Hodges, 1991). In fact, some states like Florida, have laws written to reflect this view (Keane, 1990). Unfortunately, even when the father and children have legal rights to visitation, mothers suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce continue to hinder the exercise of this right.A mother, who had previously physically assaulted her husband when he went to take the children, refused to take them with you even when you are presented with the police.A mother to prevent her father to see his children, did not ever find in the house when she visited her husband divorced.A mother had her physically intimidating boyfriend fierce-looking, to attack the husband who had come to take the children.The President of the Human Rights of the Child (Washington, DC) notes that such alienation is considered a form of child abuse (Levy, 1992). Unfortunately, the police typically avoid involving themselves in these situations. Furthermore, unless a victimized father is financially capable of returning to court on the basis of the facts, you can do little to prevent these behaviors by the mother. Finally, even when such cases are brought to court, are often inadequate to support the right of visitation by the father (Commission on Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992).Model 2b: Free telephone conversations with his fatherIn cases of physical absence of a parent phone plays an important role in maintaining the bond between child and non-residential parent. Some mothers suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce make a series of actions designed to circumvent telephone.A father called to speak to his children and was told that they were not home, he could hear their voices in the background.When one father called to speak with his children and was left waiting on the phone and no one was warned of the call.Knowing that his father was on vacation, one mother encouraged the children to leave several messages on his answering machine in which he was asked to call immediately if it were available for free pick-up outside the time allotted for the visits.Some fathers find the alienation attempts so painful that eventually are extinguished from calling their children: simply “give up”. In a scenario of defeat, the abandonment of the father (Hodge1991) unfortunately achieves the precise result that the mother suffers from Malicious Mother Syndrome in divorce cases are filed.Model 2c: Denying Participation in extracurricular activitiesAn integral part of the process of maintaining one’s bond with his child is to participate in the activities that took place before the parents separated. School sports, team sports and religious events are just some types of important activities. Malicious Mothers frequently engage in maneuvers designed to prevent participation in these activities.One father was deliberately given the wrong date and time of an important event for the child to whom his mother asked: “I wonder why your father today do not want to come and visit you?”One mother refused to give the parent information on extracurricular activities in which children were engaged.Before a football game in which it participated son, a mother has been telling falsehoods to discredit her husband to many of the parents of other children. When he came to watch the game, a lot of parents angry eyes, refused to talk to him and walked away when he approached.Malicious Mothers who engage in such behaviors rarely have to face punishment as a consequence of their actions. Judges, lawyers and police can not deal with all cases where the father is prevented from contact with children. Furthermore, most fathers can not afford the financial requirements. So the cycle of access interference perpetuates itself between fathers and sons.Criterion 3A: Malicious Lying to the childrenGiven their developmental status, children in a disputed divorce situation are quite vulnerable. When a parent decides to attack the other by lying to the children, there may be cases of malicious behavior such as the following:One mother said during a divorce to his young daughter that her husband was not his real father, even though it was.A girl of 8 years was forced by her mother to hand unpaid bills to her father: the mother had falsely accused him of not to support his family.One mother told her children that their father had repeatedly beat her in the past, which is absolutely false.These examples of malicious lying can be contrasted with the more subtle maneuvers typical of PAS, such as “virtual allegations” (Cartwright, 1993): the mother who cause Parental Alienation Syndrome may hint that there was violence, while mothers with Malicious Mother Syndrome falsely claims that abuse has actually occurred.Model 3b: Malicious Lying to OthersIt ‘possible that mothers suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce involving a considerable number of people in their attacks upon the ex-husband. However, in the case of this particular model, the subject suffering from Syndrome specifically lies to other people in the conflict against marito.Ecco some examples:A furious mother telephoned the president of the place where her husband worked (1500 employees) falsely claiming that he was using business property for personal gain and was abusing their children in the workplace.One woman falsely told state officials that her ex-husband was sexually abusing his daughter.During the custody dispute, a mother lied to the guardian who was investigating the parenting skills of each parent, that the father had physically abused her.Snyder (1986) wrote of the difficulties that meet the legal authorities when confronted with someone who is an excellent liar. The research on the inability of experts to detect lying (Ekman and O’Sullivan, 1991), a skilled fabricator can be a compelling witness in the courtroom (Snyder, 1986). Snyder (1986) notes that pathological lying (Pseudologia Fantastica) sometimes seen in personality “borderline”, is not limited to that particular character disorder.Model 3c: Violating Law to Attack the husbandThe battle against her husband by women suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce does not have any boundaries. Violations of the law are common in many cases, though usually these are relatively minor offenses. However, in some cases violations are quite serious.One woman deliberately drove her automobile into the house of the ex-husband where their mutual children resided.During the battle for legal custody of her children, one woman broke into the residence of her husband and stole important documents.An angry divorcing mother called a Christian evangelical television station and pledged $ 1,000 on behalf of her husband as the pledgee jew address and phone number.The above descriptions may remind the reader of certain personality disorders (eg. Antisocial, “boderline”, sadistic) but these behaviors may be demonstrated in women with Malicious Mother Syndrome who do not appear to meet official diagnostic an Axis II disorder. Furthermore, none of the Malicious Mothers involved in the cases mentioned was sentenced by the judge for his behavior.Model 4: Not Due to Another DisorderIn assessing the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce, it is important to note that many of the above clinical examples seem to have occurred in individuals who had not received a diagnosis or previous treatment for mental disorders. Fact, one mother who had engaged in extreme maliciousness toward her husband, being a divorce has presented many witnesses, mental health specialists, who alleged that he suffered from any type of mental disorder.According to the author’s experience, for each mental disorder that might come to mind to explain some of this behavior, there is an exceptional case. For example, in some cases may be appropriate for diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder, however, there is the case of a woman who, even 10 years after the divorce, she continued to deny the rights of access. Other cases might suggest a possible diagnosis of a personality disorder, but there is a case of a woman who repeatedly violated the law in attacking her husband and against which senior specialists have never found personality disorders. In some cases you might want to consider the diagnosis of intermittent explosive disorder, but some mothers anger does not appear to be intermittent.Finally, the reader should realize that one side is not always diagnostic accuracy for certain psychiatric difficulties is to be expected (eg. Personality disorders, see Turkat, 1990), the other the problem is made more severe in family law where sometimes become involved in the process of mental health experts incompetent (Turkat, 1993). Clearly, the relationship between the Malicious Mother Syndrome and other mental disorders is complex and requires significant investigation.DiscussionThe foregoing description of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce raises a variety of clinical problems, legal and scientific issues.From a clinical families in which Mother Syndrome are subject to serious episodes of stress and anxiety. However there is no scientific evidence on how to treat this phenomenon. This is particularly compromised by the fact that many of the subjects that appear to meet the proposed diagnostic criteria deny that there is anything wrong with them.An additional difficulty is that many therapists are unaware of this pattern of malicious behavior (Heinz and Heinz, 1993). So there are therapists who are deceived by such cases and, as noted earlier, testify in court that there is nothing wrong with the mother involved.From a legal perspective there are attorneys who may unintentionally encourage this type of behavior (Gardner, 1989). On the other hand, there are some attorneys who deliberately encourage such behavior as the financial rewards that are tied to the duration of the lawsuit. In other words, the more complex the process, the greater the profits for the attorney. (Grotman and Thomas, 1990). However, even for the subset of attorneys for whom this may be true, there is a point of diminishing returns. Moreover, apart from economic considerations, many of those who have to do with the courts and judge cases involving the family, they find that these cases are not handled properly. (Greif, 1985; Levy, 1992).No woman who has this kind of behavior loses the entitlement to maintenance, unless it is affected by disorders severe enough to lose custody of their children and not even go to jail. Thus, many clients report significant frustration when they and their children are exposed to this type of behavior, and the courts seem to do little.In a review of legal writings on bias against men in the legal process Tillitski (1992) concludes that there is widespread discrimination. This is well illustrated by a court of processes related to family disputes, he said: “I have never seen the calves follow the bulls, they always follow the cow, so I always give custody to mothers.” (Commission d ‘ Survey on Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992, pag.741). Similarly, we note that the rigor that is applied to enforce the ordinance concerning the maintenance allowance, but is not exercised in asserting the right of visitation by the father. (Commission on Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992). In consequence of this prejudice against men in family law proceedings some fathers who unintentionally become relatively helpless victims of the system (Tillitski, 1992). This situation would seem to reinforce the willful misconduct deployed by women who suffer from the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce.Certainly needs to address the problem of the incidence of the disorder according to gender. The overwhelming majority of custodial parents are female (Commission on Gender Bias in the Judicial System, 1992). Gardner (1989) has noted that Parental Alienation Syndrome appears most commonly in women, although it is possible that a man who was given custody of the children has the same type of alienating behaviors. The author’s experience on the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce, is similar to that of Gardner, but the writer has not yet found a case of a father who has assumed one of the acts listed above. This does not mean that there is a possibility that the syndrome of “Malicious Father” there. In fact, Shephard (1992) reports that there is significant abuse against some custodial mothers by non-resident fathers. On the other hand it should be noted that so far there are no cases of mothers in default, where it is for them the burden of child support. Given that until now have not been documented cases in which the father met all of the models corresponding to the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce, it appears advisable to await scientific evidence to guide issues of nosologic choice of labels.What is the spread of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce? Do not have an answer. Gardner (1989) reports that about 90% of all custody battles involve some aspects of parental alienation. Further, Kressel (1985) has reviewed data indicating that up to 40% of mothers who have been awarded custody to the father did not allow the children to visit in order to punish him. Arditti (1992) reported data users: 50% of a sample of 125 fathers indicated that the mother’s visitation was interfered with their children. Aspects of parental alienation may be common, but it is extremely unlikely that such a percentage of mothers who were custodians would meet all the models of Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce.With regard to the incidence, the syndrome’s name would appear that the malicious behavior is precipitated by the divorce process. However, this is an empirical question. While the malicious actions may first be noted during the divorce process, but it is possible that maliciousness may have been present earlier, even if hidden. This hypothesis is supported by research on pre-divorce parental conflict (Enos and Handal, 1986). It may also be that there are cases of mental disorders that are not discovered until the stress of divorce.Finally it should be noted that research begin to appear on the functioning of the family after divorce. There are data on the role of parental conflict in the behavior of children after divorce (eg. Frost and Parkiz, 1990, Furstenberg et al, 1997; Healy, Malley and Stewart, 1990; Kudek, 1988), but have yet to appear studies on the most extreme cases of Parental Alienation Syndrome and Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce.The Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce is an important social phenomenon. The disorder affects children, parents, lawyers, judges, guardians, mental health professionals and others. Until this phenomenon is explored more thoroughly in the scientific and clinical literature, the problems imposed by individuals suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in divorce cases will continue to plague us. It is hoped that this paper will stimulate research so as to make possible the development of guidelines for the clinical and legal management of the problem.REFERENCEArditti, J.A. (1992). 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